information about doc
Hello, my name is doc haynes and I am glad you stopped by my page. Only about 1 % of the people visiting a web-page seem to even bother reading what we all write here, but what the hell, I don't mind talking to small groups.
Just ten days after Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr. was awarded the Nobel Peace Prize and two days before Comedian Lenny Bruce would be sentenced to four months in prison for obscenity, I found myself being born in a Hartford Connecticut hospital, to a family that probably had too many kids at the time already. There were already six girls and one boy in my family when I got there (and wouldn't you know it, they were all older than me). But since birth control was not legal in the state of Connecticut until 1965, thanks to the Comstock Laws, I managed to slip in under the wire.
When I was about two and a half my parents were divorced and we went to live with my new step father. It was at this point that I got my baby sister Marion. My sister Meme and I even rode home from the hospital with my mom and our new baby. Finally I was not the youngest anymore.
Then when I was three, we spent the summer moving to California. We all loaded into some cars and trucks with all kinds of stuff in them and camped our way across America. So the nine of us kids and our mom and her husband and some other adults who I can't even remember anymore, drove all day and then we would stop and set up camp for a while. I don't remember how long it took or how long we stayed in each new place, because no one had bothered to explain the calendar to me yet.
The thing I remember most about that summer was the singing. I would be laying in the tent and I would hear all the grownups sitting around the fires and singing folk songs. The first song I ever learned was "This Land Is Your Land" by Woody Guthrie. It seemed to be a favorite with many people in those camps and I would hear it often.
I remember it was during this trip that I first heard the term, "Children should be like paintings. They should be seen but not heard." I remember thinking that that was an odd way to look at things and that the man who said it to me was obviously an asshole. (My suspicions about him proven true in my opinion when he left my mom and the nine of us kids a few years later. In a state on the opposite end of the country with all my mom's relatives living back east. In the meantime he had shown me what every part of a belt felt like on my ass, my legs and my back. I guess he was under the impression that the buckle of the belt is supposed to magically remove all the bad from a five year old child.
So anyhow, when we got to California we lived in Fullerton till I was ten years old. Then we moved to a small town named Banning in the San Gorgonio Pass. By this time there were only six of us kids still at home and my mother had hooked up with another asshat that thought physically abusing kids was an ok pastime. (Folks I am not talking about trips to the woodshed for a whoopin' either. I am talking about if the fuck was in a bad mood and I was anywhere near, I could expect to be hit with a shovel or whatever he had handy.) Oh, sometimes I would provoke it I suppose, like the time when I was 12 and I came home from my friend's house 4 minutes late and got his cup of scalding hot coffee thrown at me, cup and all. Guess I still hadn't learned to behave myself. Be right back, I need to go piss on his grave now.
Well, that feels better. Where was I?
So anyhow, it was nice when I finally got out of that house and started to live my own life. I traveled around for a while, did some schooling, listened to some music, danced with some girls, partied way too much, had my heart broken a few times, probably broke a few more hearts than I'm aware of, met people from all over, discovered that there is a big difference between having a girlfriend when you live at your parent's house and having one at your own house, learned to drive, buried my 2 year old nephew, tried the U. S. Army, didn't like U. S. Army, quit U. S. Army, experimented with probably every drug you have heard of, and lived in my van for about 6 months during a nasty addiction to methamphetamine.
(We live and we learn right? Glad to say that monkey has been off my back for more than twenty years now.)
I got married the first time back in 1989 to a woman I met in school while studying computers and ironically we moved to Ohio with our daughter Jessica. It was hard leaving California because most of my family still lived there, but I knew that I didn't want to raise my daughter in the environment we were in at the time in California. My first wife had family and a history in Ohio. I regret missing so many of my nephews and nieces growing up. My first divorce was in 1993.
The second time I got married was in 1997 to a woman who lived near Chicago. We had met (don't laugh) on the internet and she seemed great at first. We talked every day on the phone. After a while she asked me to come and visit so I did. On my third visit she decided that I should just stay there so I mothballed my house here and moved to the northwest suburbs and we got married shortly thereafter. It ended up being a messed up crazy roller coaster relationship, that I am not going to go into detail about here. We were divorced three years later.
Since then I have lived here in my little corner of Northwest Ohio, with my dog buddy and various other dogs and cats. I spent a lot of time a few years ago going to music festivals and meeting some great kids that are growing into great adults. I finally figured out what Bob Dylan meant in that song, when he says, "I was so much older then, I'm younger than that now.
I have had the pleasure of watching my daughter graduate from university at OSU and begin living her adult life. I have had the joy of her telling me that I was a great parent and of her coming to me to talk and seek my opinion still to this day.
So why am I telling you all of this? I am telling you to give you a small taste of my world, so that you may figure out that I am no child. These gray hairs and wrinkles that you see were earned and I got them the honest way. I am not someone that is ignorant of how shit works. I have seen the good in the world and I have also seen the bad. I guess I am also telling you so that you may realize that I have been through enough crap already and don't need any new crap. So please leave any bullshit outside when you come into my world. I won't try to cause you grief, please do the same for me.
Besides, most of the people coming here are not reading this anyhow.
So the other day I went to this Psychiatric Association website.
They have a test there that you can take and then they give you a generated personality profile based on your answers.
ok, simple enough, right?
So figuring this would be cheaper than seeing a shrink, I proceed.
Well, they ask you quite a few question and some are very personal.
Also they ask a lot of the same questions repeatedly just worded differently for the most part.
So anyways, here is the scoring for my profile.
At the bottom is a link to take a test yourself.
Feel free to message me with your results.
I would be quite interested in seeing if we all score as nuts or if I'm just being paranoid and obsessing on these results too much.
Disorder Rating
Paranoid Disorder: Very High
Schizoid Disorder: High
Schizotypal Disorder: Very High
Antisocial Disorder: High
Borderline Disorder: Very High
Histrionic Disorder: Very High
Narcissistic Disorder: High
Avoidant Disorder: Very High
Dependent Disorder: High
Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder: High
Personality Disorder Test - Take It!
Personality Disorders
What is Schizophrenia?
Get Insight from People Like You
The Scientist's special supplement on schizophrenia.
At least I didn't get any very very highs.
If you take the test make sure to get back to me on it.
You can message me here or email me.
Or if your results look even worse than mine you can leave them as a comment on my contacts page if you'd like.
Who I'd like to meet:
I would like to meet an ALIEN.
But not the alien from the Alien movie.
That bitch really bites
and her babies suck your face.
I would like to meet God,
but not today or any time soon,
since it seems you have to die to meet him.
I would like to meet Bill Gates.
Because I want to find out
what stinking rich really smells like.
Mostly I would like to meet up with old friends that I have not been able to keep in contact with.
Unless I owe you money in which case you are looking for a different doc haynes.
It would be incredibly gratifying to meet John Lennon, Benjamin Franklin, Chief Joseph, George Carlin, John F. Kennedy, Jim Morrison, Abraham Lincoln, Lenny Bruce, Samuel Clemens, Gene Roddenberry, Isaac Asimov, Pliny the Elder, Richard Pryor, William Wallace, Kurt Cobain, Bob Hope or Richard Helms.
It would be especially gratifying because they are all dead and it would really answer that afterlife issue for me.
It would be interesting to meet Sir Anthony Hopkins, Stephen King, Al Gore, Leonard Nimoy, Ed Norton, Rob Zombie, Kermit the Frog, Noam Chomsky, Steven Spielberg, David Caradine or Jodie Foster.
But I doubt any of them are cruisin CyberSpace looking for "buddies" (but Ms. Foster if you are please feel free to IM me).
Click here to IM me.
I just thought of someone else I would like to meet.
I would like to meet William Shatner.
I'd like to meet him a plane. In a storm.
Sure I'd feed him some drinks and keep
glancing out the window as if there were a
MAN ON THE WING OF THE PLANE.
But mostly I just want to ask him,
"What happened Bill?
You were my hero and now you have become a joke.
I miss the old Bill.
Note: Sorry doc just took off again talking about how he's gonna kick Shatner in his flabby white ass.
Hey I'm back and I have a question for you.
Just what does it mean when someone sends this;
"hey my friend Candy saw your profile
and she thinks you look totally hot dude!
She is new to the internet but wants to chat with you on MSN messenger.
Her name on there is candySUXgood@hotmail.com"?
I just don't know what I should do.
Should I messenger her?
Maybe it's spam?
But I do love spam.
Fried spam with mustard and sour kraut
on rye bread with cheese.
MMMnnnnn. Good eats.
Note: doc has left again.
I think he is going to follow this webtemptris to some secluded internet spot where she will tell him she loves him forever and then asks for his credit card information.
While doc meanwhile will just be trying to get
her to take off her panties on her webcam
without having to use his credit card.
Or maybe he's just going to make a sandwich.
Tough call.
I do like meeting new people
so I would also like to meet you.
We could do lunch.
Just have your people call my people.
We'll figure something out.
Or you could click on add me as a friend at any of the numerous social networking sites that I frequent, and we'll see where things go from there.
But please no empty messages.
Tell me a little about yourself and why you want to be friends.
If you send me an add request with an empty message it will probably just sit in the new friend request bin forever (unless I already know who you are of course).
Ok so what I want to know about you:
What do you dream about?
Where do you live?
What is the most important thing you ever learned?
Why do you love your favorite color?
What are you wearing?
Who is the most influential person in making you who you are?
What is your favorite flavor of the original 31 flavors?
What is your sign?
How old are you? (credit card verification required)
What do you do for fun?
Do you like Fox Television?
What is your favorite book of all time.
Do you prefer the ballroom or the mosh pit?
What TV show if any defines you as a person?
How tall are you?
What's in this for me?
When do you feel relaxed?
